Sonal and Rahul:Figment of imaginations-Part 1

He left no footprints  In sand… no ripples in water …no image in mirrors……no foot prints on the shore..

Just SHIFT DELETED her from his life

 A weak watery moon filtered through the clouds and revealed a young girl sitting on the topmost of

Thirteen stone steps that led into the water..she was very still very wet..in a while rain slowed to a drizzle and then stopped the breeze shook water from the trees and for a while it rained only under trees Where shelter had once been….

It was past  midnight…the river had risen

Wet leaves in the trees shimmered..with moon’s light…

A liitle frightened of  what lurked in the shadows around her..As she lurched into the deep water..

A brief sunbeam ..

A small life ..

Quietness and emptiness…

He had held her against him…she had woken to the beats of his heart knocking against his chest

His arms around her she had felt protected..loved and secured..he successfully folded her fears into rose

He had gathered her into the cave of his body

He had been careful not to hurt her

She could feel how soft she felt to him……..

Even now…when she was about to end her existence…

Even now when any moment she could be swept inside where she would loose her living self…

She offered herself to the river…to be eaten by large fishes…to be drowned…

To be no more alive!!

P.S-This is part of a series which I am working on..story of breaking of a heart..shattering of dreams...

When I dance..

Dance when in distress,dance when in grief,dance when hurt and  dance when in love!to me dance is the divine form of worship.dancing not only is an extension of the soul within wherein it is also a means to achieve that inner peace..life is full of challenges these days,its not easy..ups and downs are part of our daily routine hence few hours dedicated to accumulating energy especially joining the forces of the universe to attain bliss through dance for me is my way of coping with stress..

Indeed dance is a stress buster..it is food for the soul and fuel for the body..dance to me is my first love..it is that feeling of surrendering to the universe so as to manifest all my desires ..

Dance not only enriches the life but it is responsible for bringing radical changes in my life..Who am I ? when I look at myself in the mirror I say it aloud I am a dancer..i am myself..those few hours daily is my escape to the world where I am me…its my individuality that speaks in the language of dance..its the creativity inside me that makes me follow the rhythm  ..there is music in the air..Universe speaks to us in the various forms be it sign or be it clear and aloud..

Everything we ever desire is already there present within reach for us..dance is one such medium to the ultimate realization of the law of abundance around us..there is plenty for all of us..whatever we attract comes to us and hence dance not only helps me to be positive but also exposes to me this strength..dance  is that recreation which not only opens up the mind to all the possibilities but helps out in touching the inner most chord of our being thus making us aware of our own power..

Dancing has empowered me in lot many ways..making me aware of my own weaknesses and strength..acknowledging the sensuality,getting in touch with the female energy …

The best moments in my life has been those hours when I was on stage…dancing is a passion and my first love..i become alive when I dance..the hip swaying the feet moving all in all creating the t angible aura around..its a second haven for me..i find solace when I dance..i find answers when I dance..its a magic when I dance..its feeling complete when I dance!

Being born a girl in an Indian middles class household!

I write this in anger,
I write this in grief,
I write  this in frustration...
and I write this in disappointment!
I write this to tell you boys that how lucky you are that you are born a boy not a girl.
A middle class Indian family ,an educated ,cultured family leaves no stone unturned when it comes to educating their children be it a girl or a boy but the difference begins when you are educated,able to make choice but then that ability is doubted over simply because of a gender bias.
Being a girl you are supposed to get married ,have children ,not to forget that you are constantly reminded of the amount cash to be spent on your impending wedding,dowry to the prospective groom's family and other expenses of the Indian lavish Wedding..
I write this to you young girls who dream,Donot dream ,because if you are to only pieces of the shattered dream would prick your eyes and the result would be tears.Better avoid sheding tears for the dreams woven,dreams where education plays an important role and why not,We become qualified engineers,doctors,successful enterpreneurs but Alas where does it all end..
I write this to express my helplessness,I am not in love with my future husband,I hate that constant chattering of aunts and relatives ,I hate the shopping trips to spend money on useless jewellery which I am never going to wear,if given a choice..
That sinking feeling in the pitt of stomach as the D day comes near..
I am numb with fear,yes I am afraid...
True I am a girl and moreover an Indian Girl..Duty calls but heart bleeds...
Life is teaching me a great lesson indeed..
Hope ! Do I hope that may be I would be rescued ,I would be saved,that I too would  be given a choice..So what that I am a girl,I also am human,I too have a heart,I too have feelings..
Would somebody remind them that what good will it be...!
Sigh...I write this in surrender......

I write this to let the world know that Life is not always a fair ..

Music Albums-Missing those days

Its been a decade !
I am not studying in high school anymore and I donot have any impending examinations to appear.
Nor do I have to sneek to the room where television is kept to switch on Chitrahar or any other program where songs from music albums would be playing.

Year Y2K or 2000 was the era of Music Album.
Beautiful,mesmerizing young people in love and melodious songs in the background.
Those 5 minute video contained a story and not to forget awesome songs.

My favorite still remains the Rajshri Album and that lead pair priya jhangiyani and Abbas..Chhui mui si tum...Nostalgic thats how I feel when I listen to that song..
First crush,school corridor and sleepless nights..

Indeed a beautiful album it was,wherein the boy meets a girl and later happy ending is shown.Typical of Rajshri Productions.For those who are not familiar with Rajshri productions they are pioneer in creating larger than real movies,family sagas like Hum Apke Hain Kaun and others!

There were so many other singers like Sonu Nigam,Alish Chenoy,Falguni Pathak,Bally Sagoo and how can I forget Remo..also the likes of Colonial Cousins

O meri Munni...splendid isnt it!

I am a dancer and I could never resisit a good folk piece..I fondly remember dancing to the folk songs as in music albums of the legendary Subha Mudgal and Sunita Rao,Usha uthup...

India is rich when it comes to its culture.So lots of singers encashed it and brought to us rich platter of music...

There is one important song which I am sure when or if at all I meet the man of my dream I would dedicate it for him ;) ( Mukhda Piya ka)


There are several memorable songs from that era..If I donot mention Adnan Sami and Lucky Ali then it would be grave injustice...

That was an ear of aspiring singers to showcase their talent and where like west even Indian market was accepting and we as an audience enjoyed...

And the last but not the least..I want to share link of my favorite song ( Krishna)

You are the only one!

Starry night,cool breeze and an old hindi song...Dreaming of you... :)

Beautiful...!!

Tu tu hai Wahi :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FADuoqWaPxM


Tu Tu Hai Vohi Dil Ne Jisse Apna Kaha
Tu Hai Jahan Main Hoon Vahan
Ab To Yeh Jeena Tere Bin Hai Saza
O Mil Jaaye Is Tarah, Do Lehre Jis Tarah - 
Phir Ho Na Judaa, Haan Yeh Vaada Raha

Main Aawaaz Hoon To Tu Hai Geet Mera - 
Jahan Se Niraala Manmeet Mera
Mil Jaaye Is Tarah, Do Lehre Jis Tarah
O Mil Jaaye Is Tarah, Do Lehre Jis Tarah
Phir Ho Na Judaa, Haan Yeh Vaada Raha
Tu Tu Hai Vohi Dil Ne Jisse Apna Kaha
Tu Hai Jahan Main Hoon Vahan
Ab To Yeh Jeena Tere Bin Hai Saza

( Lyrics )
	Movie :  Yeh Vada Raha
	Music Director :  R.D.Burman
	Music Company :
	Singer(s) : Kishore Kumar,Asha Bhosle
	Lyricists : Gulshan Bawra

Letters to Juliet

I am no expert in love.Infact I kind of feel sad for myself.I have recently completed my twenty eight years and when I look back I donot even remotely remember falling in love ,I mean an eternal kind of love.The love which is potrayed in this movie Letters to Juliet,what a beautiful movie..
Claire and Lorenzo meeting each other after 50 years in a beautiful town of Siena..
The story is set in Verona,Northern Italy .Verona,wish I could visit this city on my honeymoon( if at all I ever get married )
Now what made this movie so special was its simplicity.
Love is pure,unconditional and true indeed.It doesnt matter whether we are too late,in love we are never late.Also what and if..."What if "!

I agree we should never have a life full of regrets,I mean what could be worse than thinking what if we had said this or done this...Naah...!

We are born once and each moment is the moment to live..I am a die
hard romantic and watching this movie I also realised that why I am single still,Its because I have not met my Romeo yet...

Now humble request to the man of my dreams if you are reading this and I donot know which corner of the world you are in.I am waiting for you.Please sweep me off my feet and take me to Verona and give me the worlds best Love story

Arrange Marriages-My Story

P.S- This post is not for people who see no fault in getting married to strangers chosen by their parents and spending lakhs and crores of Rupee just for the show off! Sorry ,No offence guys this post is a personal view

As I write,I have just decided to finally confront the truth.An ugly truth that however modern and educated families of north India have become,there have been no change in their orthodox tradition and culture.Some traditions amidst the hindu families when it comes to weddings are so much deep rooted that it more or less becomes impossible even to argue against it.

I wont delve into the details of dowry killing or victims of the so called arranged marriage or the poor weak sex as we are called,I am just writing my personal experience as in the Futile attempts of my parents finding a suitable groom for me.

It started in the summer of 2009,I was in the final year of my engineering..Clueless where lies the future ,I dreamt of a fairytale.

My very loving and protective parents expecially my mother started the search-Hunt for their Son -IN-Law...
Prospective groom's photographs and biodata were shared with me from time to time.
Though it took a year to materialise ,till then I remained safe,struggling in my career.
I am proud that I started my career with IBM Global Services and more proud that I only worked where I was respected and loved.

1 ) September 2012
My first boy meeting a girl happened in August 2012,the prospective groom was working in Nomura and well to my god fearing parents it was match made in heaven.

I have lived my  in Bandra eversince I relocated from Gurgaon to Mumbai, so It was difficult for me to relocate to Powai,and also to change my current lifestyle,Most important it was completely out of question to find a job where Saturday is not working..Oh Come on I felt like telling this to that guy and to his parents.
Though his mother seemed to be fascinated by me and appreciated that I wore a saree and apllied mehndi in my palms...I was terrified..Infact I had decided if at all the two families agreed,I am ready to run away ,whatever it takes I am just not succumbing to my parents this time..

Also I tried to give subtle hint to that guy that how imperfect I was and I would make sure that if he agrees to marry me I will make his life hell!

Luckily ,after the meeting I returned to mumbai and over a period of time explained to my parents that I am not yet ready,my career is my top priority and I would like to devote more time to it..

Needless to say they didnt take it in a good way...
So ............they didnt loose hope and kept on trying..this time a year later

2)  Dec 2013..
I was set up or convinced or emotionally blackmailed by my over emotional mother that how I have to meet this handsome Capgemini Consultant who is flying to London soon and ours would be a match made in heaven!

God Forbid!

So on a Sunday afternoon,when I had to attend Westin's Farmer Market ,I also had to meet this guy..

I already had met his mother along with my parents in my hometown,so I had prepared myself as to how to fend this off.I have become an expert in HOW TO MAKE A GUY SAY NO TO YOU!!
Thats true,I do think am an expert in fending off these Arranged marriage candidates..
Now as it happened on the fateful Sunday of December 2013,I wore the prettiest kneelength off soulder dress to Westin's Farmers Market and one piece of Salwar Suit in my bag for the after show..
This was going to be a great grand show of my life,As soon as I got the omnious phone call from my mother that they had reached Cafe Coffee Day at Oberoi Mall,
I took a run from Westin,went to the ladies room ,quickly changed and there I was..!

What took me as a surprise was that there were not only parents but the boys entire family...I was appalled,Nevertheless as in the ideal meeting,boy and girl are given a few minutes to get to know each other,I decided to use this opportunity and requested this guy that please say No to me and donot tell my parents that I have asked you to say so..
Opposite happened...My parents got to know what I had told that boy,yeah that consultant had to blurt it all to his parents,what a sadist! I mean A Gentleman would never do that but yeah what to expect from thm!

So Again...after my second stint I hoped that my parents have learnt something but Kudos...

3 ) February 2014

This time that guy is from London,IBM..Well as it turned out that I decided not to take a flight back,It had been some 5-6 years since I had traveled from Indian Railways so I opted  for 36 hours journey,though I had my reservation in AC-First class as it is said,Needless to say I kind of didnot find it peaceful.It was too noisy and everyone seemed to be talking,thanks to the wedding group in that compartment,So now JAB WE MET happened,yeah no Shahid Kapoor for me ! Alas...

But I was not expecting that I would meet the most good looking greek god the next morning.

Yes this time too I was prepared,"HOW TO MAKE THAT GUY SAY NO"
So we went ,this time my cousin sister in law too accompanies me to keep a tab on me,but I am also cunning.
So when the guy's mother asked me and her son to talk I took the opportunity and made that guy take a tour of some stupid park..so when the time comes I could tell him...But this time this guy was so genuine,needless to say wow I mean awesome ,I mean damn why is he that arranged marriage candidate.If I had met him somewhere else I sure would have fallen head over heels in love with him..
Beautiful person he was,I fondly remember that meeting,yeah only meeting we had.! Strange but this time I didnt get a chance to tell this guy that I donot want to get married but I hope that he would have understood my discomfort ,he really seemed a nice person..Fingers crossed


Nevertheless I am still Single and guess my parents are still searching desperately for a suitable groom for me and I have sworn that Come what may I am not letting my parents purchase a guy for me..

Yes thats how things really are especially here wherein the matrimonial advertisment reads :

Proffesionally qualified match for 6"1" boy working in MNC,package 15lpa,girl should be 5"4",slim,gori,working girl (only B.E/MBA) from a reputed family ,BHP to xyz@xyz.com

And after the initial screening a fixed amount of money is decided and the Brides family is expected to give that amount whatever it would be 10 lakhs to a crore before the wedding date is fixed..
So in my opinion which is nothing but pre purchasing of the Groom..!

I may sound offensive to some people but hello this is how arrange marriages in my side work..
The model of arrange marriage itself is rotten where Marriage is not on the basis of love,is not deemed as an union of Soul but is nothing but an auction of educated working boys...

My sympathies to those people and hope my parents too realise it..