P.S I Love you

With Nothing Better to Say .......
Words are all that I have to Convey
Meandering Emotions ,Leaving the thoughts Astray ..
You are not with  me Instead  very much far  Away...........!!

Still a voice in my head Echoes ,
Silent Whispers of My Heart......
Each and Every Being of My  existence ....
All the Emotions and Sentiments...
In Perfect Unison ..........................Proclaims
P.S I Love you

Me Amaras

Silver of the moon illuminating the night...
stars twinkling night sky dark and cloudless...
'Me Amaras' he whispers softly in my ears...
licking and kissing  ...that hollow of  the throat...
that nape of the neck..deft fingers caressing sliding up and down the back..
A shiver arose;down the bottom of the spine
eyes  closed; breath  heavy; laden with desire; heart overflowing with love;
Magic its Magic....
breeze that cool night air.. swaying of branches of trees....that soft grass below the feet..
Locked together in embrace....
Two bodies entwined and Only one soul interconnected...
Me Amaras'

In search for that Missing Piece

.........................................is in search for that Missing Piece

Its not the Void inside but its the ruptrous life running through my Veins...

Enslaving me to My Dreams...

Encapturing the Phenomenal Changes Around...

Encapsulating the Poigant Truth...

Multiple Tasks to be Defined...

Many Relations to be Refined....

In Concentric Circles moving in tandem...

To each his Own and Being Just so Random...

 I search for that Missing piece ............................

Simply Ignore

I can accept anthing, except what seems to be the easiest for most people: the half-way, the almost, the just-about, the in-between-Ayn Rand

Being in the Grey Region is not my Cup of tea :) Thats the sole reason for my ongoing stressful scenario

For me its Either the extreme ends..Even in Feelings..Its either I love or I donot!

Its either Zero or One...

My Life is a kind of Boolean Algebra..Switching between Zero and One..The three gates And ,Or and Not functioning Equally in my Life.

Being in Recruitment from Last One year has also made me realize the value of Quality over quantity.Even I believe in Value Addition.

Somebody who is constantly casting a negative shadow over my existence is simply not worth my care or my attention.

Likewise The positive people around me should be appreciated and respected equally.

The meaning of relations became clear to me in the last few years ...

From the Complete Zeroing of emotions to the havoc my heart caused has made me realize several things worth knowing...

Experience ..May be this is why Time is called a great teacher...

From So many Best Friends to Now Chosen Few,I feel Even I have matured with Time and Age...

Taking things in my own hand,Decisions worth making ..and useless arguments better left as it is...

The Simplest Funda of leading a Happy Life,The Mantra that One word which is the most effective under stressful time is IGNORE...

Simply Ignore 
Moreover my belief in the following lines of Atlas Shrugged keeps me going :)
"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplacable spark. In the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all, do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration for the life you deserved, but never have been able to reach. The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours........"

Free Me :)

Living in the world so fake and opaque

Doing things for other's sake

There is dull throbbing in my head and Oh yes my Heart ache's

Where have I come ? Where am I going...?My existence is at stake !!

What have I to loose ?

What have I to choose ?

There is only one way that way is to move ahead...

Discarding other's opinions just doing what's in my head.

In celebration of the regained freedom....

Respecting this new found wisdom....

I ...I am the one...not to be subjugated again

I..I am the one .....independent of the rein..

There are new heights to reach so much to attain...

Dreams and Dreams...my efforts will Now not go in vain....

I am my own Sanction....

Not needing anybody 's approbation...

It s me just me a free me...I am the one celebrating my own existence

Strange venom :Dark Fantasy

The world seemed to slow down for me. 

Time stretched out like an elastic ribbon.

Everyone around me began to move in sluggish, torpid slow motion, as if they were all

underwater or in a labored blood-soaked dream. 

For hours I lay on my back staring sleeplessly at the gleaming stars wheeling

majestically above me. 

Then I saw the faintest, faintest glow of a distant light. Like the flicker of the first star of

evening, so tenuous that I could not be certain it was there at all…

I felt a solid floor beneath my feet, but when I looked down I saw nothing

but tiny pinpoints of light winking in swirling clouds of cold mist that billowed pink and

blue and golden yellow.

I reclined on a bed as soft and yielding as the gentle swells of a becalmed sea, stars

gleaming out of the darkness all around me……

"  Darling Who are you? “ I asked..........

The air of the place seethed with intrigue …….

“Where am I ?........................Lightning flickered through the sky, throwing blue-white strobes

of light … Thunder roared and boomed like the voices of the gods

railing against Me….

........................My phone was buzzing and my roommate had just switched on the light

Random.....

Wind whispered .......

A sweet Melody..

A pleasant song...

Rhythmic beating of two Hearts.....

Communion of Souls

Yes We can Never be Apart ...............

Till Now Life Spent without You....

When Everything is about You........

The invidious treachery of senses......

The exegesis of dreams..........

Superseding and Surpassing ......

The downiness of Sleepless eyes.......

Ravenous hunger filled Inside.....

Actions asinine...........

Still.........

Road less taken......

Road less Travelled.......

Paths that lead to my Dreams..

Paths Once Forgotten.........

yes Contours of My Destiny

Shaping up as I would have wanted...

Things went awry ,and  Plans Thwarted...

Still...........

Being Alive

Our souls are hungry for meaning, for the sense that we have figured out how to live so that our lives matter, so that the world will be at least a little bit different for our having passed through it. . . . What frustrates us and robs our lives of joy is this absence of meaning. . . . Does our being alive matter?

I read the above Lines and yes I actually began to think What actually is being Alive......

Soul and Mind the two fundamentals of existentialism ...the two entities which actually matter...All our actions Validated by them..

Its all in Mind but sometimes some Soul stirring facts leaves our Mind blank...

Well For me Its one and same...I  too have underwent quite a sinusoidal phases in my Life, Many Mistakes Done, Several Lessons Learnt............Alive what exactly We mean by being Fully Alive.........
Is it a life worth watching twenty years down the Line............
Is it a Day Well spent ?
Is it each Moment lived the most without thinking of the unpredictable future............?
Is it to Love and to be Loved the most ?
Is it to Live according to oneself and Be what one wants to.........
Is it to be the Master of Ones Destiny and Controlling each and every Action and Circumstances and eventually tilting it to one's own benefit...........?
Is it Being Real ? 
Or is it When we Learn to Appreciate things around us and instead of cribbing and Complaining Accepting the thing as they are and Then Drinking in all the Positivity and 
imbibing all the good.......?




May be I have done nothing ,achieved nothing or moreover never ever  even being a value addition to anybody but then the Only thing I know is that yes I am alive every moment and every second........... For me Life is Fairy tale,Wonderful and Dreamy .....Each Moment real yet a dream..........
For me Being Fully Alive is Accepting yourself as you are and yes being in Love with Oneself too  helps to a certain extent...........I never get bored and I can think of several interesting things that keep me engaged 24*7 ,I donot go out often,donot drink alcohol nor raise a toast for any celebrations that ought to have been celebrated ,donot meet ten people even during weekends,but Still I feel alive each second and nothing less.......
The sole Purpose of Life is to be alive the Simplest Philosophy is to Live.........Just look at animals ,Do they  care all they know is how to Survive......
Whenever any animal's behavior puts it out of touch with the realities of its existence, it becomes exinct.........

The Night Walked Down the Sky with the Moon...

Twilight drops her curtain down, and pins it with a star.and Then Comes the Night! A Night like Many Nights .Twenty five years and many nights...All spent in One Anticipation...All the dark hours dreaming dreams sometimes of  the paths that need to be meandered ,other times roads to be walked...but yes Many times of You...Yes you that bit familiar face that smile and that You...Yes you whose thoughts cross in My Mind when I see the Moon shining Brightly ..........and I end up wondering Will you be doing the same at this time of the Night!

I am not alone neither lonely.I not broken neither hurt.......I am not lost neither sad..Still that ache of missing you that feeling of wait yes long wait makes me wonder the fraility inside me..yes You are the One that unseen that unknown Entity in My Life who has been in my heart since My the inception of love .......

Since the day I understood love,since the day I knew myself ..I knew you were somewhere down there ,waiting for me..

Its been twenty five years and I havenot met you........The misty river of the Milky Way flowing across the sky, the patterns of the constellations standing out bright and clear, a blazing planet low on the horizon.....all reminds me of you .......Your Existence and yes I know you are made for Me........and Might be that haunting reminder is persistent ,might be my feelings are echoed in your heart as well..and Might be Somewhere in some corner of the world you too would be wondering the Same ..........

When will We Meet..........Will that be Night to Remember.......Will that be Eternal ........As Eternal as our Love ..I know one thing the void,the emptiness which I had inside me will be fulfilled.....the moment I meet you,I will be all yours..........

The Lonely Moon and Me......waiting for you !

My Real Life Hero :)

Real heroes are not brave, they are just not able to look away or walk away. Courage is not about being fearless but rather about facing your fears.......(courtsey one of my friends gtak status) 


About My real Life Hero thats a long story ! To Cut it Short Its John Galt ! Who is John Galt ?
The opening line of Atlas Shrugged-the effect it evoked  made the whole scene quite  significant ,Well Joihn Galt the ultimate Man is just a fictional character ,figment of imagination of Ayn Rand but So is Dagny ! 
Well for me my real life hero will be real entity-A Man in a Man's world.......Somebody with a golden heart,Someone with a mind of his own and Someone who knows exactly what he wants.......No No This is not a checklist but yes A guy who would be My Match.........Fire and water Combined.....Preferably a guy with a zeal of Life and A Guy with good sense of humour !


Somebody who is dependable and Above all Somebody who is Selfish ! yes He should be Selfish enough to Love me and Never Let me Go..A real guy who knows ins and outs and yes That cute dimpled Smile........Somehow I know he would have an Infectious smile......Sigh!! 
By Going Galt is not only a solution to  achieve your Dreams ,And He would be smart enough to Know that !!


Yes he would be  a person who won't be working for anybody but for himself ,may be a VC guy .......Naah ..Enterpreneur Well Depends Again ! My this side of sketch is quite hazy..The problem is I dont have a type its just my gut feelings that My Right Companion is out there waiting for me-------Somewhere he also knows it and yeah Me the Eternal Romantic the ever Eternal Dreamer is back in mode..
I dont want an ideal guy ,but My real life Hero would be a real guy ! 


Just Like this-

This is John Galt Speaking:

Happiness is not to be achieved at the command of emotional whims. Happiness is not the satisfaction of whatever irrational wishes you might blindly attempt to indulge. Happiness is a state of non-contradictory joy—a joy without penalty or guilt, a joy that does not clash with any of your values and does not work for your own destruction, not the joy of escaping from your mind, but of using your mind's fullest power, not the joy of faking reality, but of achieving values that are real, not the joy of a drunkard, but of a producer. Happiness is possible only to a rational man, the man who desires nothing but rational goals, seeks nothing but rational values and finds his joy in nothing but rational actions.

Just as I support my life, neither by robbery nor alms, but by my own effort, so I do not seek to derive my happiness from the injury of the favor of others, but earn it by my own achievement. Just as I do not consider the pleasure of others as the goal of my life, so I do not consider my pleasure as the goal of the lives of others. Just as there are no contradictions in my values and no conflicts among my desires—so there are no victims and no conflicts of interest among rational men, men who do not desire the unearned and do not view one another with a cannibal's lust, men who neither make sacrifices nor accept them.

The symbol of all relationships among such men, the moral symbol of respect for human beings, is the trader. We, who live by values, not by loot are traders, both in manner and spirit. A trader is a man who earns what he gets and does not give or take the undeserved. A trader does not ask to be paid for his failures, nor does he ask to be loved for his flaws. A trader does not squander his body as fodder, or his soul as alms. Just as he does not give his work except in trade for material values, so he does not give the values of his spirit—his love, his friendship, his esteem—except in payment and in trade for human virtue, in payment for his own selfish pleasure, which he receives from men he can respect. The mystic parasites who have, throughout the ages, reviled the trader and held him in contempt, while honoring the beggars and the looters, have known the secret motive of the sneers: a trader is the entity they dread—a man of justice.

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

"This is John Galt Speaking"Chapter VII

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

 "This is John Galt Speaking"Chapter VII

Yes the Day I meet him I will surrender ! I will to My Real Life Hero !! Wheres My Match ? Well ................. I like Surprises and Am eagerly waiting for this Chapter of My Life to  began ......I have love in My Life and I am Complete ,But I know to this One Person I will be ........  an entity ready to merge my existence in his own without even loosing my existence,To My real life Hero I just want him to know yes I too have waited for you all these long years and till Now am waitng !

Absolute Surrender-Love

Love is blind, they say; sex is impervious to reason and mocks the power of all philosophers. But, in fact, a person's sexual choice is the result and sum of their fundamental convictions. Tell me what a person finds sexually attractive and I will tell you their entire philosophy of life. Show me the person they sleep with and I will tell you their valuation of themselves. No matter what corruption they're taught about the virtue of selflessness, sex is the most profoundly selfish of all acts, an act which they cannot perform for any motive but their own enjoyment - just try to think of performing it in a spirit of selfless charity! - an act which is not possible in self-abasement, only in self-exultation, only on the confidence of being desired and being worthy of desire. It is an act that forces them to stand naked in spirit, as well as in body, and accept their real ego as their standard of value. They will always be attracted to the person who reflects their deepest vision of themselves, the person whose surrender permits them to experience - or to fake - a sense of self-esteem .. Love is our response to our highest values - and can be nothing else."
— Ayn Rand
Yes I end up using the Absolute word in each posts title but then thats because I want to highlight the Significance or the Difference between Love and One Absolute Love.I have been in Love with N no of guys-I was in Love with Ricky Martin,Then I fell in Love with Leonardo De caprio Then I fell in Love with My 7th Standard Friend who is Now a very good friend of Mine ..From St.Karens's Puppy Love to engineering Crushes..From oh My God types of dude to the not so average type category -I guess I have experienced Love in various form....I mean The only thing at the back of my mind remained Is He that ....?
Well No Not at all...Love is our response to our highest value..Till date from falling in Love to Falling out of Love That Absolute Love is Missing..Even AG could not fill that gap..Alas He turned out to be sick..yes I had been in a relationship with AG for last two years that turned out to be abusive and where I had been hit physically by the so called IIT+IIM graduate ...Yes the day He hit me and I had bruises over my Face,I again questioned the depth of My feelings...Trust me When you are in love with the person and whom you think is the One for you ,the sheer humiliation of getting physically assaulted is just a nightmarish experience...This is the first time I am writing it publicly for Now I am over and above it !! For ever and Ever....Its just like escaping from an unfortunate accident ...Yes Now I feel free and ready to drink in Life 's beauty and ready for Life's blessings and gifts..Love an eternal truth is the feeling which I still respect and I know the Next time I fall in Love It will be Absolute -It will be being an equal reciprocation and assertion of one's Moral Values..The person I would fall in Love would reflect my deep rooted choice and yes It will be a relation based on Absolute Trust and Total Acceptance of one with his drawbacks and his faults and  follies and Vice-Versa...
Not having to work hard for the sake of proving one's Love ,Not  having the slightest doubt about his feelings and a mutual respect :)
I am not bitter anymore.........I don't doubt my feelings neither Do I have any complex ..I am loving life by just being Me....The real me that was lost in these last two years..I am happy with my Identity restored back and I am back with being in love with Love itself........Absolute Love that Eternal Love that ability to acknowledge one's existence and being comfortable with the other person's individuality ...Love where each partner grows as an individual and nurtures the relationship by being partners-In tandem ,In sync....In Perfect Unison..In giving the Space thats integral for the Development ........Just Like when a sapling is planted it's given enough soil,water and space in the pot so that the root grows..Thats true for relationships as well...A Person who echoes the same sentiments would be My Absolute Companion ..........One who will Let me be Me and Be the Way He is ! Then Only their can be Absolute Surrender not the merging of individualities but growth of each as an indepedent entity as an  individual

Absolute Truth

"If you saw Atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw that he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, his arms trembling but still trying to hold the world aloft with the last of his strength, and the greater his effort the heavier the world bore down upon his shoulders - What would you tell him?"

I…don't know. What…could he do? What would you tell him?"

To shrug." 

Thats what We all Do or We want to do at one point of time...Shrug off the Burden ,shrug off the Responsibilities,Shrug off the Pretense.......What we Do is matter of our Choice.Nobody and nobody can force you to do something which you dont want,Well for me Nobody can ........
Any Action ,Any Reactions which I take,which I give are driven by my own thoughts....
My own line of thoughts and my own Mind directs me in that particular direction.As I always said Its All in our mind and From time to time It has just proven itself...

If I know I can then probably I can...but then If I am having doubts in the very beginning I am pretty sure I won't be able to do it..

It is said when its right,its always right !! Likewise As Said Contradictions Do not exists.If they does Check your Premises, one of them  got to be wrong (yes Ayn Rand's famous quotes)

I have just completed re-reading Atlas Shrugged and Fountainhead and started with "We the Living"!!

I am not the part of a crowd which believes in living for somebody ,instead I prefer to Live for myself...I won't boast that I am loved by many ,Come what may I am loved by the best person that I have ever known -"I,Me,Myself"..............

Deceptions and Lies are not in my dictionary ,Living for myself and Loving for myself...
Shrugging off the Pretense and Being Totally Alive.............Today is what makes each day special...

Life is what we have got and yes it will be once.......

After Life or before Life is just the tool used by loosers to explain their failures and fears....

Its our Choice that How we mold our Destiny and How we Define Our Paths......Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent....

From Nothing to Something I have come a Long way..........From Being A Student to HR-Consultant ,I have had my shares of sinusoidal Story to weave .................

"Shrug Off" is what I have Learnt .The Mantra for a Life to lead it by being fully Alive............

Its One Life and An Awesome One too :)

Why waste in cribbing ,complaining and controlling !!

Why Not take it Easy :)

Take it As it comes............One Absolute Truth :)

Say things which one wants to...........Do thinks which one wants to...................Who knows Whats the Next day has in Store for Us...Each Moment is a new One and Each day is Awesome............

Redefining the definitions ,

Redesigning the whole Motivation..........

Appreciating the Beautiful Creation...

And Shrugging Off   from the Useless Situations ...........................Being Free from All Mortfications

Making Joy the Reason of our Existence............

One of My All time Favorite Stanzas of Atlas Shrugged about the things in Grey Region-Infact I too belive its Either This or That.......Absolute is the word .

-"The man who refuses to judge, who neither agrees nor disagrees, who declares that there are no absolutes and believes that he escapes responsibility, is the man responsible for all the blood that is now spilled in the world. Reality is an absolute, existence is an absolute, a speck of dust is an absolute and so is a human life. Whether you live or die is an absolute. Whether you have a piece of bread or not, is an absolute. Whether you eat your bread or see it vanish into a looter's stomach, is an absolute. 

There are two sides to every issue: one side is right and the other is wrong, but the middle is always evil. The man who is wrong still retains some respect for truth, if only by accepting the responsibility of choice. But the man in the middle is the knave who blanks out the truth in order to pretend that no choice or values exist, who is willing to sit out the course of any battle, willing to cash in on the blood of the innocent or to crawl on his belly to the guilty, who dispenses justice by condemning both the robber and the robbed to jail, who solves conflicts by ordering the thinker and the fool to meet each other halfway. In any compromise between food and poison, it is only death that can win. In any compromise between good and evil, it is only evil that can profit. In that transfusion of blood which drains the good to feed the evil, the compromise is the transmitting rubber tube. indecisiveness "
— Ayn Rand (Atlas Shrugged)