Thursday, June 19, 2014

Better Late than Never

Best things in Life are free!
I realised it late or deep down somewhere I always knew.I used to console myself that when I would be able to afford  A Prada or A Channel or even  perhaps a Gucci or The Armani ,that day would be the happiest day of my life.Then I convinced myself if only I had a small car to travel hassle free,that day would be the happiest day.Then the list never ended and as the result I never had the Happiest day.
Now there did come a point when I questioned myself,I had to ..given my list was exhausted ..."that why the hell am I not getting even closer to having one day as the happiest day of my Life".
Then  I just stumbled upon old albums containing really vintage pictures..some a little ruined because they were twenty years old.It was a sign.A Sign sent by my guardian angel .
I began browsing those photographs.Oh I looked so different.Way too lean as if malnourished but way too happy.The smile on my face and the twinkle in my eyes.
Childhood to the Golden days,High School days.....!
Certainly everybody agrees to the fact that School days are the best days but nobody told me that life gets complicated after that.You get a degree,have a job,plan to get settled as in settle type of settle,your own house,a husband,a dog,2-3 kids and happy Facebook profile .Well these days each time I log into FB I see lots of happy couple and I do like it.I donot want to appear as this old hag who resents Romance.
I would never let my social reputation be tarnished like that.
But dont I just feel sick.There all the population is either getting married,having babies and travelling to Venice for their honeymoon and Well I am doing what? ! Yes Precisely ! I am still figuring out a way to be happy.Still waiting for one chance that one chance to be happy?!!!!!!!! "Weirdo" I say this to myself and I repeat
All those years wasted in trying to find happiness.I searched it everywhere,amidst the dresses,the stilettos,the handbags,the sunglasses,cosmetics,airports,multi cuisine restaurants,resorts,exotic locations,Yatch and Diamonds and sex and Men too!
Did I get it? The Answer is astonishingly  "No"
I am still not happy baring the few moments when I speak to my younger sister and  when I am with my family.
My mother,father and my sibling.The presence of these people in my life can be counted as the only good thing in my otherwise not so happy Life.
But eventually  I did realise something..That Eureka moment ! Yes I too had recently
 Being loved and loving somebody unconditionally that is certainly the most important aspect of getting closer to your happiness.
Yes Love and only love can give me the Happiest day in my Life.
I also understood happiness does not lies in perfection.Its just the flaws,the imperfection that contributes in creating the Magic .
I too want a chance at happiness.I too want to be happy .I too want to find myself by loosing myself .
I know now what makes me happy.The answer is Love.To be loved that s what I want and thats what I have been denying myself all along.
Better Late than Never......
I need My First chance at Love <3
Love all along the way one thing I denied.Well Charity begins at home.So guess I should start by loving myself first and foremost and Let the Universe bring me my first chance at Love.
So on this positive note I pray that may  we all have a loving presence in our life and that We all get to meet our lobsters...# I hope phoebe(FRIENDS) version of the lobster getting together in life time is true :P

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