Anthem of Life

My happiness is not the means to any end. It is the end. It is its own goal. It is its own purpose.” | Anthem

Its year 2013,a year which has its own importance acording to numerology and according to my Parents!
Yes I am still happily single but so it happened few of my cousins my school friends decided to get married in 2012 so am facing the aftermath! Like any other middle class Indian family I get calls on daily basis from my birth giving parents as to when ,when and when?
They dont know or may be perhaps they are trying to overlook that their eldest daughter is not going to give in ,well not give in at all to the social pressures or obligations whatsoever!
I am a strict believe and follower of the " I " ...And Thats how Ayn Rand in this post is relevant.
Whenever I get time to ponder ( time is a rare entity theses days,mumbai has this charm)or even think,analyse what am I doing......?
The Answer comes to me very easily I am just trying to be happy..
Its not that am daily circled with clouds of happiness,I have failures,I have tears,I have heart breaks ,I get stabbed in the back too! but at the end what matters is I am happy after resolving all the hither and dither little issues of my life :)
This year too,Anthem ...The Mantra for my Life remains focussed on just one word "Happiness"

Agle Janam Mohe Bitiya Na Kije!

I hear of  so many cases of female infanticides,foeticides  in news ,Well at  times I feel its valid.Yeah As I am writing this post,I am also figuring out where to head from here!
Being born a girl and that too in a middle class orthodox family of North India,Trust me is difficult,Especially when you struggle each time to prove that you are worth it! Alas,as world celebrates the ideals of Womenhood,More and more women venture out in this world and are creating a mark,On the other hand a lot many are sacrificing their dreams just because they want to be a good daughter.
This time I  too want to be a good daughter, I cannot go against my parents wishes and this time like a criminal who is convicted for treason I choose to be convicted because I was born a girl.
I never realised this could happen to me.I turned 26 this year and landed up a nice job where I am appreciated,where my team looks upto me ad above all I feel a value addition,Each day I feel more closer a step ahead from yesterday but Now what ? Its slipping away from me however desperately I try ,.......
All my Life trying to be a good responsible daughter all I did was neglect my dreams,sacrificed my choices chose a different way of life altogether.
Never even whispered in dreams that what my dreams actually were.......yeah When I wanted to dance,I chose to solve calculations,simply because if I qualify the prestigious IIT-JEE my Father would feel proud and then probably he would never even regret for not having a first born who is not a Son.With due Respect they love me a lot probably more than anybody else but Still the Social Stigma of just two daughters have bothered them a lot,I could always sense that particular thing and tried my hard to be the daughter who could be  a Son to them......
Now I failed........I refused to get married to the boy of their choice not once but Twice but still they have given me a third and last chance......It means I have no choice left.......
So My Life ends here ," I " in me is begging for mercy,Infact that wretched feeling of being defeated is so persistent.....
I donot even have time,Alls decided and finalised and I see my life ending before my very own eyes........Its not the first time that its happening there is a pattern in my life......
Each time and every time ...........I still remember how badly I wanted to run away from my engineering college and its terrible hostel but was not allowed,I still remember gulping down all those sleeping tablets just to avoid going back to my college ,how much I abhorred those data structures and C++/Java especially Mathematics ,those terrible meaningless lab classes where I always hated newton and Einstein .
Back to Square one ,the same options ,same obligations and same guilt of being born a daughter,The difference this time is however I survived my four years of useless education safely locking my dreams but now when I am actually living the life I always dreamt of ,I am on the verge of loosing it forever! Because this time its not a matter of 4 years of education Its My Life which is at stake.
I have always been a die hard romantic,a dreamer So Do I wait for the knight in shining armour to actually save me from this Peril....

Amor cuerdo, no es amor.

Amor cuerdo, no es amor. There is No  Sane Love......As Simple as that !
True A Love which has reasons cannot be termed as love..Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired ! But that doesnot mean  a bout of attraction or lust driven feelings could be called  as love.
Love is a feeling between two individuals ready to merge their identity and willing to accept each other as it is!
A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude towards each other that grows with time....That raw passion and the naked desire that reflects in the  eyes........Yes I am talking about that crazy drugged feeling of being in Love..
A love which is madness ,A love which is  intense .....

"Love comes into your being like a tidal wave … sometimes it withdraws like a wave, till there isn’t such a thing as a pool left, and every bit of your heart is as dry as seaweed beyond the wave’s reach" —Phyllis Bottome

A love where a mere kiss wouldnot  just be  a kiss but would be  able to evoke a charged explosive elements within which neither the mind could recognise or analyse....And this crippling confusion of mind and body sending a strange quivering ache deep inside which has never been known before by just a simple act of lips touching each other is what I feel is  Love.......
Yes Embarking on a Journey in quest of love........
........................Nunc scio quid sit amor

Against the tide

So here I am back to square one...Same city  Same I ......Nothing changed..That dream of buying a Louis Vuitton or driving the Audi still remains the dream.I sound so materialistic ,agree I am but then who is not?
Its just that I atleast accept and the worse thing is that my happiness does depend on them,I am currently without any job and by my own choice,So that answers !
I might be materialist ,I might be somebody who prefer only Hidesign purses and Chanel perfume and wears only Zara/Gucci but when it comes to basic Moral I am proud that yet I have not killed it.

I am proud that I am able to walk out on a job that paid me well .....I am extremely proud that I refused to Give in....May be for others it would be a fool hardy decision when you have to got nobody who could support you..I am a risk taker and I am ready.
At this point of time deep down somewhere I have faith.I believe things will work out well,so what if I have to struggle.
I am a little afraid ,Somehow I feel all alone trying to figure out where Now!
Suddenly Life has started asking questions to me,Sitting on the rocks watching the tide smashing against those rocks I somehow feel the same......
So how does things shape up is a mystery......
Moving against Tide,Its my Journey.........which starts!

City of Dreams

City of Dreams...

City of Choices........

A city full of Decisions

A city of compromises

Never knew how I fell in love with this city ........

How the existentialism theory got stuck with the identity of this City.......

How from Zero to Everything .......and from Everything to Nothing this city stood by me......

From Walking all alone to being surrounded by Friends.......

Yes ......I have it all here..........

A beautiful Collage this city has become!

From Tears to cries of Joy.......

From Rejection to the Acceptance..........

From the several lovely moments to the heat wrenching loneliness this city has given me All............

Indian Dressing: My Sarees

When I was a kid I used to learn about our National song,National flower and other things termed as National,somehow I assumed that For Women Sarees must be the National Dress!

No it is not Infact India boasts of such a varied and rich culture that it would be actually difficult to define dressing.
Anywhich ways For me up till now Saree has been the most glamorous attire and yes if I have to dress to kill,I will prefer draping  Saree .
The beauty of this attire is that its the most perfect 6 meter cloth which could be draped in many different ways .

Yes Multi styling infact I can wear it the traditional way,drape in such a way that it makes me look more sensual as in just highlights the curves or it could be the best to look that girl next door as well.

Well I mostly  have chiffon sarees,which also I shop exclusively from Jaipur,yes the Famous bandhini and the leheriya.
Infact the saree which I am wearing is also a special leheriya with a Rajputi Gota( Gota is a hindi word meaning lace)

One of the most important thing with sarees are the blouses to be worn with it,It is responsible for the whole look factor,yes as in Lets say if I have a party So My black Saree could go very well this halter neck blouse with a Sexy Knot.It is a tried dressing Infact I got hell lots of nice compliments and one can accessorize well with a diamond bracelet and Nice Stone studded Jhumka or To make it more artistic it could actually be worn with lots of Jewellery like I tried with this look.

Mumbai Monsoons!

Here comes the lovely rains.....Pouring all over Mumbai adding to the woes of daily commuters....Yeah Rains however lovely are also one of the major cause of concern in a city like Mumbai....

But then I am not talking about the negativity out here what I want to share is my First experience of Mumbai Monsoon captured beautifully by lenses

If you see the beauty of the city ,no other city in India would look as lovely as Mumbai...Yeah Driving through bandra Worli Sea Link,Just stop the car a little on your left and lower that glass pane.......Switch off the AC and yes...you would get an idea how heaven would feel like............


I am in love with the city...May be thats why all I can see are the beautiful scenic views this city has to offer.................

First showers of Monsoon and actually walking the promenade ,the sea striking back and forth ............how could I not be smitten by the majestic enchanting view...........Spell bounding and a feeling of pride!

And how can I forget that lovely down stretch when you take that right turn from Mt.Mary church towards Bandstand.....How often do I just walk down and yes I call it walk of Life..........Its one of those rare experience and especially in these Monsoons...When you could actually feel those cool droplets over your face that breeze soothing all the tense thoughts and the closeness to Nature.......
That bond between Nature and Man just gets strong .............
My Monsoon experience has been as of now Fantastic...The city as everyone says becomes difficult to commute and is also famous for its dangerous Monsoons........But then when Man goes against Nature he has to face the brunt as well......

Nothing like Mumbai Monsoons and eating "Bhutta" in the pouring rain..........walking down the sea side.......and living every moment of it!

What else you could ask for...Well for me the onset of Monsoons is significant...Its my first rains in Mumbai and I am making sure I enjoy every bit and pieces of it...
Yes Be it walking in the rains alongside the fearful sea...Be it being there on the Narimam point to Enjoy the rains with garma garam chai...........or be it a long drive over Bandra Worli Sealink...........
No stopping at all the fun and the excitement of being in the city of dreams.......where each moment inspires to live,Yes Mumbai has taught me a lot! Mumbai never stops,never cease to  work and Kudos to the spirit of ever awake Mumbai!

Yes it is so very true Mumbai never sleeps.........