P.S- This post is not for people who see no fault in getting married to strangers chosen by their parents and spending lakhs and crores of Rupee just for the show off! Sorry ,No offence guys this post is a personal view
As I write,I have just decided to finally confront the truth.An ugly truth that however modern and educated families of north India have become,there have been no change in their orthodox tradition and culture.Some traditions amidst the hindu families when it comes to weddings are so much deep rooted that it more or less becomes impossible even to argue against it.
I wont delve into the details of dowry killing or victims of the so called arranged marriage or the poor weak sex as we are called,I am just writing my personal experience as in the Futile attempts of my parents finding a suitable groom for me.
It started in the summer of 2009,I was in the final year of my engineering..Clueless where lies the future ,I dreamt of a fairytale.
My very loving and protective parents expecially my mother started the search-Hunt for their Son -IN-Law...
Prospective groom's photographs and biodata were shared with me from time to time.
Though it took a year to materialise ,till then I remained safe,struggling in my career.
I am proud that I started my career with IBM Global Services and more proud that I only worked where I was respected and loved.
1 ) September 2012
My first boy meeting a girl happened in August 2012,the prospective groom was working in Nomura and well to my god fearing parents it was match made in heaven.
I have lived my in Bandra eversince I relocated from Gurgaon to Mumbai, so It was difficult for me to relocate to Powai,and also to change my current lifestyle,Most important it was completely out of question to find a job where Saturday is not working..Oh Come on I felt like telling this to that guy and to his parents.
Though his mother seemed to be fascinated by me and appreciated that I wore a saree and apllied mehndi in my palms...I was terrified..Infact I had decided if at all the two families agreed,I am ready to run away ,whatever it takes I am just not succumbing to my parents this time..
Also I tried to give subtle hint to that guy that how imperfect I was and I would make sure that if he agrees to marry me I will make his life hell!
Luckily ,after the meeting I returned to mumbai and over a period of time explained to my parents that I am not yet ready,my career is my top priority and I would like to devote more time to it..
Needless to say they didnt take it in a good way...
So ............they didnt loose hope and kept on trying..this time a year later
2) Dec 2013..
I was set up or convinced or emotionally blackmailed by my over emotional mother that how I have to meet this handsome Capgemini Consultant who is flying to London soon and ours would be a match made in heaven!
God Forbid!
So on a Sunday afternoon,when I had to attend Westin's Farmer Market ,I also had to meet this guy..
I already had met his mother along with my parents in my hometown,so I had prepared myself as to how to fend this off.I have become an expert in HOW TO MAKE A GUY SAY NO TO YOU!!
Thats true,I do think am an expert in fending off these Arranged marriage candidates..
Now as it happened on the fateful Sunday of December 2013,I wore the prettiest kneelength off soulder dress to Westin's Farmers Market and one piece of Salwar Suit in my bag for the after show..
This was going to be a great grand show of my life,As soon as I got the omnious phone call from my mother that they had reached Cafe Coffee Day at Oberoi Mall,
I took a run from Westin,went to the ladies room ,quickly changed and there I was..!
What took me as a surprise was that there were not only parents but the boys entire family...I was appalled,Nevertheless as in the ideal meeting,boy and girl are given a few minutes to get to know each other,I decided to use this opportunity and requested this guy that please say No to me and donot tell my parents that I have asked you to say so..
Opposite happened...My parents got to know what I had told that boy,yeah that consultant had to blurt it all to his parents,what a sadist! I mean A Gentleman would never do that but yeah what to expect from thm!
So Again...after my second stint I hoped that my parents have learnt something but Kudos...
3 ) February 2014
This time that guy is from London,IBM..Well as it turned out that I decided not to take a flight back,It had been some 5-6 years since I had traveled from Indian Railways so I opted for 36 hours journey,though I had my reservation in AC-First class as it is said,Needless to say I kind of didnot find it peaceful.It was too noisy and everyone seemed to be talking,thanks to the wedding group in that compartment,So now JAB WE MET happened,yeah no Shahid Kapoor for me ! Alas...
But I was not expecting that I would meet the most good looking greek god the next morning.
Yes this time too I was prepared,"HOW TO MAKE THAT GUY SAY NO"
So we went ,this time my cousin sister in law too accompanies me to keep a tab on me,but I am also cunning.
So when the guy's mother asked me and her son to talk I took the opportunity and made that guy take a tour of some stupid park..so when the time comes I could tell him...But this time this guy was so genuine,needless to say wow I mean awesome ,I mean damn why is he that arranged marriage candidate.If I had met him somewhere else I sure would have fallen head over heels in love with him..
Beautiful person he was,I fondly remember that meeting,yeah only meeting we had.! Strange but this time I didnt get a chance to tell this guy that I donot want to get married but I hope that he would have understood my discomfort ,he really seemed a nice person..Fingers crossed
Nevertheless I am still Single and guess my parents are still searching desperately for a suitable groom for me and I have sworn that Come what may I am not letting my parents purchase a guy for me..
Yes thats how things really are especially here wherein the matrimonial advertisment reads :
Proffesionally qualified match for 6"1" boy working in MNC,package 15lpa,girl should be 5"4",slim,gori,working girl (only B.E/MBA) from a reputed family ,BHP to xyz@xyz.com
And after the initial screening a fixed amount of money is decided and the Brides family is expected to give that amount whatever it would be 10 lakhs to a crore before the wedding date is fixed..
So in my opinion which is nothing but pre purchasing of the Groom..!
I may sound offensive to some people but hello this is how arrange marriages in my side work..
The model of arrange marriage itself is rotten where Marriage is not on the basis of love,is not deemed as an union of Soul but is nothing but an auction of educated working boys...
My sympathies to those people and hope my parents too realise it..
As I write,I have just decided to finally confront the truth.An ugly truth that however modern and educated families of north India have become,there have been no change in their orthodox tradition and culture.Some traditions amidst the hindu families when it comes to weddings are so much deep rooted that it more or less becomes impossible even to argue against it.
I wont delve into the details of dowry killing or victims of the so called arranged marriage or the poor weak sex as we are called,I am just writing my personal experience as in the Futile attempts of my parents finding a suitable groom for me.
It started in the summer of 2009,I was in the final year of my engineering..Clueless where lies the future ,I dreamt of a fairytale.
My very loving and protective parents expecially my mother started the search-Hunt for their Son -IN-Law...
Prospective groom's photographs and biodata were shared with me from time to time.
Though it took a year to materialise ,till then I remained safe,struggling in my career.
I am proud that I started my career with IBM Global Services and more proud that I only worked where I was respected and loved.
1 ) September 2012
My first boy meeting a girl happened in August 2012,the prospective groom was working in Nomura and well to my god fearing parents it was match made in heaven.
I have lived my in Bandra eversince I relocated from Gurgaon to Mumbai, so It was difficult for me to relocate to Powai,and also to change my current lifestyle,Most important it was completely out of question to find a job where Saturday is not working..Oh Come on I felt like telling this to that guy and to his parents.
Though his mother seemed to be fascinated by me and appreciated that I wore a saree and apllied mehndi in my palms...I was terrified..Infact I had decided if at all the two families agreed,I am ready to run away ,whatever it takes I am just not succumbing to my parents this time..
Also I tried to give subtle hint to that guy that how imperfect I was and I would make sure that if he agrees to marry me I will make his life hell!
Luckily ,after the meeting I returned to mumbai and over a period of time explained to my parents that I am not yet ready,my career is my top priority and I would like to devote more time to it..
Needless to say they didnt take it in a good way...
So ............they didnt loose hope and kept on trying..this time a year later
2) Dec 2013..
I was set up or convinced or emotionally blackmailed by my over emotional mother that how I have to meet this handsome Capgemini Consultant who is flying to London soon and ours would be a match made in heaven!
God Forbid!
So on a Sunday afternoon,when I had to attend Westin's Farmer Market ,I also had to meet this guy..
I already had met his mother along with my parents in my hometown,so I had prepared myself as to how to fend this off.I have become an expert in HOW TO MAKE A GUY SAY NO TO YOU!!
Thats true,I do think am an expert in fending off these Arranged marriage candidates..
Now as it happened on the fateful Sunday of December 2013,I wore the prettiest kneelength off soulder dress to Westin's Farmers Market and one piece of Salwar Suit in my bag for the after show..
This was going to be a great grand show of my life,As soon as I got the omnious phone call from my mother that they had reached Cafe Coffee Day at Oberoi Mall,
I took a run from Westin,went to the ladies room ,quickly changed and there I was..!
What took me as a surprise was that there were not only parents but the boys entire family...I was appalled,Nevertheless as in the ideal meeting,boy and girl are given a few minutes to get to know each other,I decided to use this opportunity and requested this guy that please say No to me and donot tell my parents that I have asked you to say so..
Opposite happened...My parents got to know what I had told that boy,yeah that consultant had to blurt it all to his parents,what a sadist! I mean A Gentleman would never do that but yeah what to expect from thm!
So Again...after my second stint I hoped that my parents have learnt something but Kudos...
3 ) February 2014
This time that guy is from London,IBM..Well as it turned out that I decided not to take a flight back,It had been some 5-6 years since I had traveled from Indian Railways so I opted for 36 hours journey,though I had my reservation in AC-First class as it is said,Needless to say I kind of didnot find it peaceful.It was too noisy and everyone seemed to be talking,thanks to the wedding group in that compartment,So now JAB WE MET happened,yeah no Shahid Kapoor for me ! Alas...
But I was not expecting that I would meet the most good looking greek god the next morning.
Yes this time too I was prepared,"HOW TO MAKE THAT GUY SAY NO"
So we went ,this time my cousin sister in law too accompanies me to keep a tab on me,but I am also cunning.
So when the guy's mother asked me and her son to talk I took the opportunity and made that guy take a tour of some stupid park..so when the time comes I could tell him...But this time this guy was so genuine,needless to say wow I mean awesome ,I mean damn why is he that arranged marriage candidate.If I had met him somewhere else I sure would have fallen head over heels in love with him..
Beautiful person he was,I fondly remember that meeting,yeah only meeting we had.! Strange but this time I didnt get a chance to tell this guy that I donot want to get married but I hope that he would have understood my discomfort ,he really seemed a nice person..Fingers crossed
Nevertheless I am still Single and guess my parents are still searching desperately for a suitable groom for me and I have sworn that Come what may I am not letting my parents purchase a guy for me..
Yes thats how things really are especially here wherein the matrimonial advertisment reads :
Proffesionally qualified match for 6"1" boy working in MNC,package 15lpa,girl should be 5"4",slim,gori,working girl (only B.E/MBA) from a reputed family ,BHP to xyz@xyz.com
And after the initial screening a fixed amount of money is decided and the Brides family is expected to give that amount whatever it would be 10 lakhs to a crore before the wedding date is fixed..
So in my opinion which is nothing but pre purchasing of the Groom..!
I may sound offensive to some people but hello this is how arrange marriages in my side work..
The model of arrange marriage itself is rotten where Marriage is not on the basis of love,is not deemed as an union of Soul but is nothing but an auction of educated working boys...
My sympathies to those people and hope my parents too realise it..
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