2015-Milestone

Few months left and I turn 30!
Turning 30 ofcourse is like What! I am here on this planet earth for three decades and still Single~
Well, this post is not about turning 30 but it is about reminiscing the year 2015 which is soon going to be yet another calendar year.
Eventful year indeed.

Career turned to great heights.
Eventually followed my dream of Adding Value to Other"s.Well I started getting paid for training people on Soft Skills!
For me It is a beautiful dream which came true this year.

Thankyou Bangalore!

A Style of my own~

I am writing this post in response to Womens Web and Trishlaemart.com 

Being an engineering graduate, it was never a pre requisite criterion for us to be stylishly dressed.Bitter Truth but that’s how the general perception is, even at home we are considered to be a crowd where we donot pay more weightage to our style of dressing but our examination grades. However since Mumbai is a city of dreams and living in Mumbai for good years exposed me to different people, several interesting and inspiring  individuals and also to my inner self.

I began to perceive things differently and yes started to view myself too as complete individual not just somebody working nine to six five days and feeling content. I evolved as a woman; the transition from geeky girl to a stylish woman was a welcome feeling. Especially when I began receiving compliments and also became comfortable in receiving them.

Being complete as Woman is something very special and on a realization that we all are born unique with our distinct sense of style, it indeed  adds on the perks of being a Woman.

For me now when I am a certified Image consultant, I find “Being Stylish” a rather misunderstood word.

Sense of Style overall includes not only the apparel selection but also the body language combined with smile on the face. You are incomplete when your eyes donot twinkle and you yourself donot feel beautiful.

While with due respect to our tradition, culture and social environment around, an ideal girls’ wardrobe must not be restricted to what is expected for them to wear rather it should be well combination of clothings.Perhaps for me Sari works but then for a cocktail evening I usually prefer an off shoulder  peach color chiffon tube dress. Indian women are blessed with wonderful skin color not pale but rather wheatish, wherein we also have option of selecting apparels made from silk to chiffon to georgette that is easily available. Our traditional Saris are lavishly adorned with silver and Zari.We are also blessed to have several choices when it comes to accessories!

I usually keep my wardrobe handy for every occasion. My ideal wardrobe constitutes of -

·         A plain white shirt with Chinese color, Gucci( blue ) jeans,

·         A sleeveless straight knee length kurti,a black Jeggings

·         The most important -Scarves ( floral print pure chiffons ) in plenty (multiple purpose)

·         Pair of black/ multi color ballerina shoes ( closed toes are advisable to be worn daily)

·         Kancheevaram sarees/plain color chiffon sarees- with stylish blouse

·         Pair of pearl studs and plain white pearl necklace.

·         Ralph Lauren Rose (perfume)

For me Sense of Style is feeling awesome in every way and in any dress be it a Toga style gown I wear in a cocktail party or a Kancheevaram Sari I wear at my cousin’s wedding.

Accessories complete us especially when matched right. I usually advise office goers also to try keeping make up to minimal however a bindi and pearl stud worn with a kurti looks chic, or when wearing western formals, pearl stud with a pearl necklace with the hair tied in bun behind the back along with closed shoes.The thumb rule for being in style always also lies in how presentable you appear overall. With the best brand of dress, if nail enamel/polish is not proper then it is a waste.

For me Style is wearing dresses which makes me feel like a diva at the same time is comfortable and is also not offending others.

(I am a great fan of the character Carries Bradshaw of Sex and the City. Needless to say I usually look at her dresses too at times while planning a special evening  )

Also Fashion is momentary but Style is permanent. Style is a unique Signature of our individuality.

In words of Yves Saint Lauren – Fashions Fade, Style is eternal!

Science and Signs of Emotions: Workshop that proved to be changement de vie

Perhaps all these years I have lived in a denial mode. But as it is said you cannot run away from the past. We maintain OMerta throughout; Code of Silence about abuse in Indian households prevails. Aren’t we all proud of it?

Vinco Vici Victum, we have conquered, overcome, mastered, won, surpassed, and excelled at concealing cases of child sex abuse happening around us. A lot many of us have been at the receiving end too. A home is the safest place for a child to be born and brought up in but what happens when the child grows in the environment of fear. A fear that the child cannot explain to anybody, cannot or don't know how to voice it. I hail from a reputed middle class family of North India. To be precise a joint family consisting of doting uncles and aunts, of many relatives and neighbors. But then too there is an instance when I felt unsafe, did not know what happened or preferred to shift-delete that experience from my memory.

It is just not me; many of us suffer similar mortifying experiences. These experiences are then followed by experiences of silence, deleting the memory and what more pretending that it never happened.

It was the year 2012 when I was living in an upscale society of Bandra West, Mumbai. I had reputed neighbors, usually not much socialization happened other than society meetings or festivals. I have always been loved by children and I bond with them easily. There also I developed close bonding with a ten year old girl Srishti.
Srishti used to play in my flat and usually ended up bringing her school homework at my place and completing it in the meantime. She hailed from a broken family. I knew her mother and we too became good friends. It was in one of the conversations that Srishti started asking me about rape and what it is, totally taken back by her innocent question; I dismissed it as the product of watching news. It was an era of sensationalism journalism. But eventually she confided about her fears. Harrowing details of what that Pedophiliac was doing to her.
 He was her mother’s boyfriend, who used to visit them often. He also used to visit them when her mother was not around. He had the keys to their home. She did not know what was happening to her, was as confused as I had been but more determined in the fact that she did not want more of it and needed help if at all. Where I had the privilege to be born in a family which was full of people to love me and protect me, Srishti was from a broken home. All the more it was difficult to her to seek help and support. I confronted her mother, what broke me was her mother instead of supporting her ten year old daughter, supported her boyfriend stating that her daughter is jealous and possessive. Her mother in a mild note added that single girls like me should focus on our life rather than snooping around. What disturbed me most was before this incident I was their favorite charming neighbor and then I was a neighbor who could be a possible threat to her reputation. Srishti’s mother dismissed me with eye-rolling disdain. I kept on wondering how can a mother be so detached, indifferent to her daughter’s pain. Mothers are the caretakers of children they bring in to the world. 
I could never let this happen to anybody’s daughter nor should be allowing anybody to do it to their daughter. Alas they were just thoughts in mind which I never actionated. I proudly call myself as having very strong maternal instincts towards children that explains their natural affinity towards me but how I reacted then till date I remain ashamed of it. May be that’s why I am confessing it here.
Work occupied most of my waking hours but this incident gave me sleepless nights. Unfortunately I was afraid, convinced myself that I am helpless and that I did enough. As expected the little girl was not allowed to visit me and long hours at work did not give me time to check on her.
My maid informed me after few months that the mother and daughter duo have moved out possibly to that pervert’s home. No forwarding address left.
Life moves on, infact now I have relocated to a new city. However still remains that guilt of not protecting Srishti and not being able to do anything about the fact that she trusted me enough to confide in me. 
I did not even discuss it with anyone. I too convinced myself that soon it will get over and Silence is the best option. I did not raise my voice against child sex abuse.
What goes around comes around. This Saturday was such a day. A workshop which I attended purely by chance by cancelling the non refundable flight ticket to Mumbai. Till the ninth hour, I was not sure if I would attend the workshop. The reason was not my plans for Mumbai but the fear from the past.
The workshop was conducted by Srishtilife Foundation. It was titled Science and Signs of Emotions. The particular name reminded me of my dear friend Srishti and brought back floods of unpleasant memories. I became afraid yet again. But this time I decided to face the reality and attend the workshop. Miracles happen when we expect least. It happened for me. As I write this I send my prayer of thanks to the divine for finding a way for me to fight the ghosts of the past.

Srishtilife Foundation’s website says Srishti is on its national campaign to Save A Child, Save A Smile. I would not be able to do justice to the idea behind Srishtilife in one post, but humble request to all of you to visit their website www.srishtilife.com and check for yourself.
What moved me was that how maturely and in sensitive way the whole issue of creating awareness against CSA (child sex abuse) was dealt with in a short span of time. In the last part of session, in just limited time, the whole idea was explained.

The workshop didn’t get too heavy for me as I had expected. Nor did it deal just with the Do you know facts or retelling of the horrifying incidents one by one. The whole workshop was designed in such a way that when after the workshop one stepped out from the hall, he/she had gained a Mantra which if used is going to empower and change his/her life forever for good. I did not mean that we need to change the way we are but on introspection we would realize that how a simple mind shift helps in dealing with particular issues that are constant threat to our peace of mind.

What took my breath was this  team of dedicated amazing people united in a cause, volunteering together to create society free of child sex abuse. The website says that they are neither funded nor they accept donation of any kind. These workshops are conducted on a regular basis on various issues. I repeat the experience which I had on Saturday is an experience which can be experienced but not explained. The positivity and the aura in that whole room were angelic. The lady who is the speaker herself is the product of divine intervention.

Why am I putting her on pedestal is for once there is a person I have met who defines the term Angel. She is the epitome of perfection. I correct myself, she is Perfection.
While I write the experience of workshop I attended on Saturday, certainly I am not doing justice to the content of the workshop. From CBT (Cognitive Behavior Theory to Child Sex Abuse) several topics were addressed. From frontal lobes  brains has one,I might have studies at some point )contribution to the emotional patterns, there were topics discussed which are powerful enough to impact person’s holistic development. Needless to say everyone who attended the workshop would term it as changement de vie, as it indeed was!

Worth mentioning is one of the tasks in the session where every attendee was asked to write down the challenge in a piece of paper and then apply the techniques told in the workshop and check for themselves if the challenges are solved or not at the end of the session. After few hours, She asked if there is anyone whose challenge is not resolved and everybody in unison said No!

The idea of writing this long article is just my way of summarizing the inner turmoil which I had gone though and how that day I got the answer.
I whole heartedly thank Srishtilife Foundation for conducting such a value adding workshop.

I appeal to everybody who is reading this, to every mother, to the victims, to the survivors, to all the single girls' like me don't hesitate to speak up. Let’s give children a safe society. Let’s make our homes/schools safe. Let’s give our children a happy childhood, beautiful memories and smiles. I wish to bring my child to the safe society, abuse free society and in an effort to do so I have to start now.
For more information on Srishtilife Foundation, please visit their website and also attend their workshops. Trust me, it would be a true value addition!

Some facts worth mentioning:
India - a nation of child sex abusers?
A survey conducted by Ministry of Women and Child Development in association with the United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF) and a few Indian NGOs working for child's rights found that more than 53% of children in India are subjected to sexual abuse, but most don't report it. The survey was conducted in 2007 and covered 13 states across the country with a sample size of 12,447. Twenty percent of these children admitted to being aggressively assaulted: they had either been penetrated; made to sexually fondle an adult; or been forced to display their own genitals. And clearly, gender is no bias where child sexual abuse is concerned: of the 57 percent children who said they had been abused, more than half were boys. According to the National Crime Records Bureau, a child goes missing in India every eight minutes. 48,838 children raped in just 10 years. This figure is National Crimes Record Bureau statistic. Child rapes have seen a chilling 336 percent jump from 2001 to 2011.
I gathered these data over internet. Meanwhile as I google, I read many articles from the Survivor of Sexual Abuse to the horrors of Child Sex Abuse. Needless to say it is depressing to read about the plights of so many children who have had to suffer because of our Lack of Voice.

Surrender

The literal meaning of the word "Surrender" is Stop Resisting or to submit completely .

Timing is everything.A smart person knows when to resist or when to submit.

I am a believer.A believer in Fate.A believer in Destiny.a believer that whatever happens happens for a reason.A believer that the architect of our fate is that Supreme power whose authority everybody accepts.

Religion try to name the architect but he is only one..deep rooted in our culture,foundation of civilizations,present in each living being.A guide when required, a healer when requested,a helper when asked.

Surrender when hopeless.

Surrender when in despair.

Surrender when in doubt and Surrender when in threat!

I surrender myself to the Universe allowing my desires to manifest right here right now.And I know some where somebody is working on it.

Things are not going well.

Infact my life could be taken as an ideal example of Failure,of .Blunders and of Foolishness.I am not ashamed.I am proud that with the problems around me I still have remained intact,in one piece and I try,I try hard to remain myself.

I smile each day.I am grateful for yet another beautiful day.I feel happy and I feel beautiful

I reinforce my belief in surrendering completely.Thing are not falling together.I am clueless.I am standing at one of those cross roads of Life where there is one way which leads towards  my destiny.Hence one wrong choice and I would be doomed.I am twenty eight,single,jobless but in love.

Well I am in love with myself,perhaps that's what keeps me going.

Each day I woke up,I say Thankyou.

Now since I am learning to Surrender I strongly believe that there is another way out from this dire situation.

A Miracle awaits me.

Infact Universe must be planning something really grand

As I apply coat of flour scent orange on my nails,I could feel my life is soon going to be as colorful as my nail paint .

With this positive note I wish you all a happy Weekend..with backyard barbecue  and long

sunny days.

I am not religious but I believe in the philosophy of Lord Krishna and Gita.
A nice story I came across which I would like to mention below which is in Context with Complete Surrender ,being a vessel  of God..

Krishna always holds a flute in his hand, but there is a great story behind it. Everyday Krishna would go in the garden and say to all the plants, “I love you”. The plants were very happy and responded back and said “Krishna, we love You, too”. One day Krishna rushed quickly into the garden very alarmed. He went to the bamboo plant and the bamboo plant asked, “Krishna, what´s wrong with you?” Krishna said “I have something to ask you, but it is very difficult”. The bamboo said “Tell me: if I can, I will give it to you”. So Krishna said “I need your life. I need to cut you”. The bamboo thought for a while and then said “You don´t have any other choice. You don’t have any other way?” Krishna said, “No, no other way”. And it said “OK, I surrender to you”. So Krishna cut the bamboo, made holes in it, and each time, while he was doing that, the bamboo was crying with pain, because he was paining the bamboo so much. Krishna made a beautiful flute out of it. And this flute was with Krishna all the time. 24 hours a day, it was with Krishna. Even the Gopis were jealous of the flute. They said, “Look, Krishna is our Lord, but yet we get to spend only some time with him. He wakes up with you, He sleeps with you, all the time you are with him”. So one day they asked the bamboo, “Tell us the secret of it. What secret do you have, that the Lord treasures you so much?” And the bamboo said “The secret is that I´m empty inside. And the Lord does whatever he wants with me, whenever he wants with me and however he wants with me”. So this is complete surrender: where God can do whatever He wants with you, whenever He wants, as He wants. And for that you don’t need to be scared, you know, you have just to give yourself. And who is yourself in reality? It’s just Him!

Better Late than Never

Best things in Life are free!

I realised it late or deep down somewhere I always knew.I used to console myself that when I would be able to afford  A Prada or A Channel or even  perhaps a Gucci or The Armani ,that day would be the happiest day of my life.Then I convinced myself if only I had a small car to travel hassle free,that day would be the happiest day.Then the list never ended and as the result I never had the Happiest day.

Now there did come a point when I questioned myself,I had to ..given my list was exhausted ..."that why the hell am I not getting even closer to having one day as the happiest day of my Life".

Then  I just stumbled upon old albums containing really vintage pictures..some a little ruined because they were twenty years old.It was a sign.A Sign sent by my guardian angel .

I began browsing those photographs.Oh I looked so different.Way too lean as if malnourished but way too happy.The smile on my face and the twinkle in my eyes.

Childhood to the Golden days,High School days.....!

Certainly everybody agrees to the fact that School days are the best days but nobody told me that life gets complicated after that.You get a degree,have a job,plan to get settled as in settle type of settle,your own house,a husband,a dog,2-3 kids and happy Facebook profile .Well these days each time I log into FB I see lots of happy couple and I do like it.I donot want to appear as this old hag who resents Romance.

I would never let my social reputation be tarnished like that.

But dont I just feel sick.There all the population is either getting married,having babies and travelling to Venice for their honeymoon and Well I am doing what? ! Yes Precisely ! I am still figuring out a way to be happy.Still waiting for one chance that one chance to be happy?!!!!!!!! "Weirdo" I say this to myself and I repeat

All those years wasted in trying to find happiness.I searched it everywhere,amidst the dresses,the stilettos,the handbags,the sunglasses,cosmetics,airports,multi cuisine restaurants,resorts,exotic locations,Yatch and Diamonds and sex and Men too!

Did I get it? The Answer is astonishingly  "No"

I am still not happy baring the few moments when I speak to my younger sister and  when I am with my family.

My mother,father and my sibling.The presence of these people in my life can be counted as the only good thing in my otherwise not so happy Life.

But eventually  I did realise something..That Eureka moment ! Yes I too had recently

 Being loved and loving somebody unconditionally that is certainly the most important aspect of getting closer to your happiness.

Yes Love and only love can give me the Happiest day in my Life.

I also understood happiness does not lies in perfection.Its just the flaws,the imperfection that contributes in creating the Magic .

I too want a chance at happiness.I too want to be happy .I too want to find myself by loosing myself .

I know now what makes me happy.The answer is Love.To be loved that s what I want and thats what I have been denying myself all along.

Better Late than Never......

I need My First chance at Love <3

Love all along the way one thing I denied.Well Charity begins at home.So guess I should start by loving myself first and foremost and Let the Universe bring me my first chance at Love.

So on this positive note I pray that may  we all have a loving presence in our life and that We all get to meet our lobsters...# I hope phoebe(FRIENDS) version of the lobster getting together in life time is true :P

Aww Moments

 # 1 )
“I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

This is one such dialogue  where I would want to be in the receiving ends.Yes I too need to meet Harry,well if my Mr.Imperfect reads this and gets inspired to probably tell me these mushy mushy stuffs,I donot mind the duplicacy!

#2)
“I love you. You’re my only reason to stay alive… if that’s what I am.”

Killer lines indeed.....How I would die on hearing this ,this particular confession of love.
I have watched Twilight atleast 25 times!
Crazy,but at times Fantasy is way better than reality.
Edward's declaration of love is indeed classic.
Call me old fashioned but I am a firm believer in formal proposal,wherein the guy bends on his knees and takes out the ring and violins are playing in the background,there is full moon light and list goes on and on.
Out of sheer desperation perhaps I donot even think of these fancy romantic proposals,I guess I am trying hard to grow up :(

#3)
“But soft; what light through yonder window breaks? It is my lady! O, it is my love. O 
Classic!
Well this is what Romeo tells Juliet
I am speechless here...Every girl deserves her Romeo

# 4)
It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together … and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home. .. only to no home I’d ever known … I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like … magic.”
Sam has been my favorite ever since I watched Sleepless in Seattle.
Now not that I would say this but after falling in love I truly could relate to this.
Its Magic indeed
Love is Magical.It is that feeling of coming home......
Sigh........

#5)
If however your feelings have changed,I would have to tell you.you have bewitched me,body and soul and I love,I love.............I love you.I love you.I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.......

And Mr.Darcy I love you too.Man of my dreams ,My Mr.Darcy.
Elizabeth mirrored my ideas,infact we all have Elizabeth in ourself,its just that we wait for our Mr.Darcy and till the time we are still waiting,prejudices form a better part of our thinking..


And the Last my ultimate Aww moment would be ...( He would need to replace Isabella Swan to my  name,probably he would do that Some day ........Someday perhaps)
Isabella Swan, I promise to love you every moment of forever.” — Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson))

Mr.Imperfect

Was it his debonair charm or his lethal smile, making my hormones react like that or its just as simple as it sounds , Opposites attract.
Why do I feel  I have heart of iron and he is a magnet,so very naturally the Pull exists.
Logic could not be substituted in cases of Love at First Sight.
First and foremost Love is never logical.
Love is never reasonable.
Love demands
Love commands....
The Happily ever afters are usually a Universal set of all the adjustments.
Love is not always the perfection.
It is sharing awkward moments,being able to be the real person in front of that one person and however infuriating he seems at times,you still want to wake up each morning in his arms.